blablabla

i don't know where to start.

so i was sick yesterday. not the fever kinda sick. was just feeling nausea (which made me puke later), headache (my head was spinning, as if i was just got off a roller coaster ride). did i over work? no i don't think so. did i had too much fun with friends? no i don't think so as i no longer know what is the definition of social life. did i sleep too much? no i don't think so as i barely sleep for more than 6 hours a day, it's been a habit anyway.

i woke up at 6am and i felt like my head was going to burst or what. i could not call in sick at work as it's the company policy to call in sick 8 hours in advance (i know it's dumb, you don't have to tell me). i was scheduled to work double shifts yesterday, which is 16 hours. so i went in and told the shift lead no matter what she has to cancel off my name for the next shift (i was 8 hours ahead to call in sick for the second shift this time). she was reluctant to do it at the beginning as i understood she was afraid people will be bitching about me as i was able to work for the first shift why couldn't i just stay for the next shift. so in the end i promised her if i feel better i will continue working.

so during work yesterday, i found myself not the normal self. =_+ i barely talked to anyone. i started doing a lot of things to distract myself from how i was feeling physically. at one point, i volunteered to bring some kids out from the program, i thought fresh air will help me feel better. i was wrong. very very wrong. while i was walking, i felt so tired as if all my energy have evaporated in the air. a lot of times i felt like i was going to faint. =_+ jeez, what's wrong with me. i went back to work and decided to leave earlier to go home to rest.

once i reached home, i slept like a dead person on the bed. i put my phone on silent for the first time. i did not sleep with my laptop for the first time. talking about this, i should really stop sleeping with all these electronic devices that probably will cause me cancer one day.

so i rested and i felt much better this morning. so.. apart from that... edwin is leaving for manchester today. in a few hours to be exact. it's been a tough month for him, just imagine that you don't even know what's the status of your visa and your air ticket yet to be issued when you are supposed to fly like in a few hours. anyway it's all good now. when i got to know the good news, my heart was beating like crazy, i teared, and i was definitely very very very excited for him. boy i was extremely happy for him... ya, i know, it's still long distance, but at least US is closer to UK and at least i feel that it's another big step forward to our future. lol. ahhh, i am missing him so badly now. heart.

my birthday is coming soon. like in a month. i am turning 18. i mean 24. jeez. what have i achieved so far? none. nothing.

i feel like i have so much things to do but i don't know where to begin. i need to reply emails, messages in facebook, friendster, msn. i need to make a decision on my working visa. or should i say i need to make a decision on what i am gonna do to my future. if i am able to come out with a decision for this, i will have my answers for all next 10 decisions.

i think it's too much for me now. i am overwhelmed. truthfully, i can't handle it.