bilibala bilibala...here;s something for u to read elaine..=p..i know u r damn boring here..muahaha

I'm back lo, yup, back in penang. it;s been 8 days. lets see..last saturday, meet up gap n andrew in ali, so sorry andrew for making ur car dirty..aiyks..*malu*..sunday, dinner with ted;s family, his dad now can sing better n better..woohoo..monday..tuesday..wednesday..thursday..friday..saturday..sunday..i cant really rememeber wut had i done..but i guess my life been revolving around penang's food, ted, gap, andrew, elaine, willett..yea..dats all..haha..damn boring rite..grrr..think so..someone please come n rescue me..i'm dying in penang..i'm in willett house now..with elaine beside..both of us got nothing to do..so pitiful..stupid willett is playing piano downstair..its getting annoying..haha..=p..i;m waiting to go to thailand..aghh..missing the fried chicken there..n other food as well..too bad cannot go to angkor wat with gap..=(..i wanna travel so badly..staying at home make me start thinking of useless stuff..ergg..but i;m tired of crying..i realised dat it pointless pleasing ppl now..i guess start from now like wut gap said i should just please myself, put myself in the first priority (isnt dat YOU want me to?)..but sometimes, i feel like this is kinda selfish, irresponsible, like what i think YOU are now..=).. sometimes, i think dat life is so meaningless..but when i look at my friends when i think of them, they make me feel dat there's still hope in this damn freaking lonely planet..haha..neway..really gotta thank gap..always be there..thanks for scolding me n waking me up, but those words i have came across thousand times, yup, like pam said, mind over matter, i have to stop lying to myself..=(..n sean, i should;ve listened to u earlier, yup, it hurts so badly rite now..*sigh*..guess i will be stupid no more..enough is enough..yup..so i'll start bugging all my friends rite now..=p.. so today willett n elaine will be the first victim..muahaha...=p..*thinking inside my heart..willett..stop playing da piano..i cant concentrate here, stop playing dat stupid Hero song, there's no hero in my life..=p*..ish..wondering why gap goes to kelantan, maybe there's another big big field like padang polo..haha..

leaving KL soon..pretty soon..ya..it's on friday..to all my KL frenz, i'm leaving..to all my Penang frenz..i'm coming home!! busy packing these few days (ted must be saying..Ya rite..=p), well, i'm afraid ted's car will not be having enough space for my stuff n his stuff..while i'm packing things, i'm like..WUT? i really have this much of things ar...yup..*die*..i guess da first thing when i reach home, mom gonna kill me for seeing dat i actually have dat many pairs of shoes..not many really..it's only about 30 something pairs there..=( 3 big pillows, 2 bolsters, 5 small ikea pillows, 2 comforters, bedsheetS...2 luggages and a basket of clothes..and the list go on...anyway, ted..u got lots of stuff too la! =p

I guess i'm gonna miss most of my frens in KL..hui ling..suz..jon..g...they r always my best pal in college..ling ling...really appreciate the times dat u actually tried ur best to cheer me up, cook me porridge when i'm sick..buying me gift all the timez, even on me n ted;s anniversary..=p..jon, thanks for always fetching me to class, seems dat you always got interupted by me when u r sleeping..missing those days dat we always hang out together..sunday market especially...*hehe*..gunbound days..=)..suz..well..u r da smart girl, meow meow..woof woof..i guess i'll be missing da timez dat we gossiping together..u showed me dat u really care n i really really appreciate it..u help me on my work, n u help me on my probs..u r such a sweet girl..=)..G..*haha*..i didnt forget u after da design class..=p..thanks for picking me up all da timez..u r such a sweetie to ur gf n ur frenz..glad to know u..=)..of cos not fogetting SEANy..=p..i'll surely miss da timez dat we spent countless nitez on phone talkin n talkin..well, u make me laugh..n u make me smile...u should be proud of this, k? cos i barely smile n laugh these dayz..n i'm start missing ur voice, ur jokes, i guess? it;s gonna be hard for me n u to tok when i;m back in Penang..phone bill sucks..i guess its gonna be like those times back in my high sch timez..=p

hmm..not forgetting my housemates here in 8B..sweet, sour, bitter..i guess we experienced it all..though most of our relationships are fading, but i guess deep within our hearts, we surely care for each other still..missing those times back in last year..things started to change since this year..things change..people change...this is life..isn't it? i'm missing those "seniors" in the house, yam hiah, wai sin, xiao ming, han fei..they're always like my big sisters..joanna, i miss those nitez dat we chat non-stop everynite until 4 or 5 in the morning..elyn..u too..chatting with u r fun too, da perhentian trip gonna be unforgettable, hope dat you learn to see things out of a box, dun always think dat ppl r bad to u, just dat we need timez to know a person, afterall you earn a good friendship from yam hiah, isn;t it? oh ya, missing the nitez we went clubbing altogether..=).. delonia, janice, judy...too bad dat i dun have enough time to get to know u guys well, i surely miss a lot of good stuff from u guys.. ally, i dun really know u well, really, but thanks for being there, i understand ur situation, being a roomate with hue yeen, it;s hard dat i can tell u all my stuff..so..hope u understand...lastly, hue yeen..i dunno..i dunno how much u still believe in me..but i dun really care..we used to be such a good frenz to each other but things change..but my mind is still clear enough to differentiate between love n friendship..yea, i have to admit dat sometimes i really really hate you, but sometimes, i do think dat i cannot judge you becos of this shitz, cos we used to be such a good frenz, n i surely know how good u r when we r frens...u said u cry for me..although i seem like i dun care, well, it;s not true..if u do read my blog, u should know dat i care n when i;m writing this, tears are dropping from my eyes, cos i know dat i lost a good fren n i lost a bf..been trying to rescue this frenship, but i dunno u ever realised dat..just wanna say dat if only me one person dat wanna rescue this friendship, it'll never gonna work..it need 2 person, you n me..=)

Phew..~ enough of soppy soppy stuff...been going visiting around KL these days..ted..thanks a million, for bringing me everywhere dat i wanted to go..never said i dun appreciate it cos u dunno how much i appreciate it deep down inside my heart..i tot u r the only one can read my heart, but u didnt..so sad..=p..well..i'm sure we gonna miss da late-nite yau cher hor, burger king, ali maju, movies...everything..*hehe*...well..leaving on friday, but i'll be back for da university application stuff, so i guess i will be meeting up my frenz here in Kl again..=)

Today...my energy meter in friendster..is full again..

-summary-
The Bottom Line
Yes, this is a super day, you're a super babe, and you've got super powers!
In Detail
If anyone knows how wonderful relationships can be, it's you. Of course, you're also familiar with how equally difficult they can be when one party -- or worse, both -- won't compromise. Just such a situation is currently playing out before your very eyes, giving you only one option: to either become directly involved and give it your all to help, or to categorically bow out, which has never been your style.

i miss you..no..i dun miss you..ya..i miss you..no..aiyks..i dunno..everything is so confusing...i miss you when only i need you..no..certainly not so...aiyks...i dunno..

so you dun believe me...even just a phone call..you never trusted me after all..do you? yea..i'm da girl dat pretending all the time..other girls are just so innocent, they dun lie, they dun fake it, they are so real...=)

been thinkng a lot lately..about a few terms..they make me confuse...so confuse..

*love* is true love exists? wut is love? is it worth being stupid for love? love is blind?
*possession* wuts da characteristic of being possessive? wut makes you think one person is being so controlling?
*decision* wut makes a good decision? when you make a decision, who do u think of first? yourself? or others?
*truth* are we supposed to tell the truth to the one you trusted? the one they considered themselves as your "friends"?
*Lies* is every intentionnally false statements considered as lies? or is there big lie and small lie?
*trust* should we trust the person you trusted blindly? why we should trust another person that doesnt believe in you?
*selfishness* should we consider for others? or concern chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure?
*pity* is it worth pitying someone that dont appreciate you at all?
*regret* living in regret? or never lived in regrets?
*revenge* by doing this is it will bring you hapiness?
*hapiness* wut can makes a person happy? are we really happy even we wear a smile on our face?
*fairness* is Libran always look for fairness? should one person treat you equally without favoritism and discrimination?
*friend* who makes a good friend of yours? who only can be considered as a friend of you?

Living in confusion...being stupid for love...so sweet...yet...so bitter..

Another thought..dun pretend like u r an innocent when u r not..

Missing the time in Bukit Tinggi...=)
Thank you...Gap..for being the driver..
Thank you...Andrew for having the idea to go there..
Thank you...the rest..for tagging along..*haha*

Suat, good luck on the new job n take care urself in Uk..hehe,..all da best..hope to see u soon..*muacks* 

life sucks. Why am i so stupid to care how are you going to feel? why am i so stupid to care that you gonna get hurt so much? why am i so stupid to even bother how things will turn out as i know i will get nothing in return? why am i so stupid to try to protect you as you had done so many shitty things behind me, you created things that dont even exists, you ruined my reputation among my friends, you said things that you shouldnt have said n most importantly you steal away the one i once loved so much n you feel no guilty at all.. why am i being so stupid? there's onnly one reason, cos you n me, we are girls, i feel the exact way like how u gonna feel, dat feeling is really sucky n yucky.. why do i even bother? i dunno.. in the end, wut did i get? full of SHITZ..I'm regret that i didnt revenge, wut on earth that you worth for me for treating you so nice (i bet u didnt realise this)? i wonder...

If die is the only way to solve every problems, the only way to make everyone happy, the only way not to let my parents worry bout the financial thingy, the only way to satisfy you n me, i guess this is the only choice i will make.

I cook chicken rice today, and it surprisingly turn out quite nice, can still be improved though..neway..hope you love it..=)

Sean Ch'ng( or Ching?) SER-MENG!!.. Happy Birthday boy(yucks!)..finally..23 years of life...i admire the way you lead your life, i admire the way you walk thru the sucky sucky love probs, i admire you on the fact that you are being optimistic about your life. i know you do read my blog, so i decided to give u a shout-outz, see..i care about you..never said i dun care, k? never said someone dun care bout things as someone sometimes dunno how to show it out, if u said so, it'll be so unfair to them..*hehe*..neway..Seany (new name for u..muahaha), all da best to you k?hope that you will get da job dat u wan in hong kong, hope dat you will get a girl that can be trusted( i know i know, stop hinting me, i shy..=p)..*hehe*...well, happy birthday la.. since it;s ur birthday, tell u something honestly...well..you are a nice guy..really..(blek..phooi phooi phooi)..haha..take care la!

The next thing i will do to you is..point a middle finger to you..that;s the thing i'm learning..again, you'll be the first one and you should feel proud..=) *dun piss me off*

Don't make me mad, Don't make me angry, Don't make me go insane..
If you do, I will assure you that you will be the first one that i greet you F U C K - U..=)

staying in genting for 4 days 3 nites..arent we crazy? if not for meeting up all da old friends, i guess i will gone nuts if stayed there for so long...haha..anyway, it;s great to meet up suat, lik, shant, ah ju, n ah yeow..they are crazy, they are nuts, always come up with those jokes dat can make you laugh non-stop..haha..
me, ted n lik reached genting on thursday nite, we didnt do much stuff on dat nite, just went for dinner together n back to room to play cards, as ah yeow brother was sick..on friday, we woke up quite late, took lunch in da food court n we went to the outdoor theme park. n we took this picture where we are supposed to post some stupid post..haha..arent we all look cute? yup, we had lots of fun in the theme park although i didnt try da flying coaster n da space shots, ok, i'm quite chicken, i do agree with dat..*haha*...at nite, we went for dinner at burger king n kfc, da kfc in genting surprisingly taste so good...then ted n suat have to go for a concert, so we all stayed back in da room..everyone was sleeping at first then yeow suggested to go to casino..*dang*..i was rejected from da casino, do i look dat young? hello!!..i;m going to be 21..aiyks..dat police asked me to come back after my birthday..nvm nvm..so we all waited for ted n suat to come back then they wanna go clubbing, me n ted wanna go back to room n eat cup noodles, n we wait n wait n wait for them, cos they said they just wanna go have a look at da club..n we wait n wait n wait again...until we fall asleep...haha..so when they came back they called us, but i found dat ted was sick, he got fever (yes, you are, just dat u were so sleepy at dat time)..suat brought him panadol pill n we supposed to meet them again after 5 min, but we fell asleep again..=p..so when we woke up it's saturday! so sad, it;s da day they gonna go back, so we had lunch together before they all going back.. n we took another picture before they left..

hope dat we can meet again when we are ack in penang..so after they left, me n ted went to indoor theme park, gosh, we were so childish, n i guess kids can play better than us..hehe..ted played this shooting game..aiyks..see this picture..

haha..cannot grow up..=p..but it's ok..cos i see everyone playing this..=p..one thing we noticed in genting is, there are so many ha beng n ah lian in genting..oh my god..uncountable..=p..u know wut..we were sitting at da coffee bean n we didnt even notice one guy n one girl dat are really good looking..so sad..i didnt get to wash my eyes..haha...then went shopping..ted bought 3 polo-t..it's really really nice, cos i chose it..muahaha..i were so tired of walking..haih..cos we walked a lot for whole day..hehe.. ...to be continued..wanna watch movie now..haha...