bye 2008

it's that time of the year again. i am glad that it's the end of year 2008. my quarter life crisis came early. it started this year and i prayed that it will end by today as of 31st december 2008. i actually had a not-so-bad year, but it definitely not the best year in my life. it's been a rocky year; it helps me to understand the line "life is like a roller coaster".

early this year, it was my first time to step into the working life. in this job, it gave me a lot of firsts. my first experience in getting punches, bites, kicks, verbal abusive words (no people actually cussed or swore at me before, i am very serious about this). my first time in dealing with police officers, fire department, medical person, and also my first time in seeing real fire happened in front of me! and they were all related to sweet innocent kids.

the money i was earning this year was little (working with non-profit will not make you rich). however for the peanuts that i was earning, it was sufficient for me to pay for my own bills. for the first time in my life, i did not have to depend much on my family. but sadly, i did not earn enough to send home some money. T_T

i kinda shut down myself this year. i became very quiet. i did not share a lot of my feelings. i might appeared to be a very happy girl, well, i was not. it was all cover up. when looks can be deceiving, well, expressions can be too. i only chose one or two friends to listen to me when i was really down, other than that i just kept it to myself, and i dealt with my own problems.

i almost become an alcoholic and a drug addict (partly wasn't true). until this point, i think i am making a lot of people started to worry about me. =_= oh well, i noticed that i drank a lot this year. i drank with colleagues after works. i felt like drinking whenever i was down. i AM addicted to stouts. i am glad that we did not store liquor in our apartment, so a lot of times, they were just the thoughts of getting drinks, but i did not drink in the end! Hee! as for the drug addiction, it's all because of my sleeping problem. a lot of times, i am very tempted to take sleeping pills. but i did not, cos i was lazy to walk to the pharmacy to get them. so i never had any sleeping pills, but by just having the thoughts of getting those pills is very very bad.

it was actually a depressing year. i missed home so much. my very last grandparents passed away. my dad admitted into hospital and i can barely do anything about it. it got me so worried, i cried when i heard my dad was crying over the phone on freaking father's day. i told mom i need a break, and i went home during summer. it was good to see my family and friends again. And was excited to see bf after such a long time, but was anxious at the same time. i was being extra sensitive to whatever he said or whatever he did not say or do. i called off the relationship a few days before i had to see him. i cried almost every freaking day when i was in penang and i bet no one even noticed about that except my close friends. then it came to a point where i had to make a decision on whether was it worth to fly to KK to see him and not to waste the air ticket that he had already bought me. i was glad that i did fly to see him. i held back my tears so badly in front of him, i wanted to say "hey i love you" so badly but we two were holding it back. i guess we were worn out because of the long distance relationship. until one morning i burst into tears and from there we talked about it, and since then things were great. we got back together and i swear that trip was one of the best in my life!

then back to the states, i was busy with works. i am not happy with works though, there are a lot of reasons but whatever it is, Jan09 is my very last month. i decided to go home as well. i was glad that i made the choice, at the same time, truthfully, i was upset with a broken american dream where i once fought so bad to come over here. well, one day i will be back here, who knows rite.

year 2008 could be a tough year for me but it helped me to see that i was blessed with a lot of nice people around me. i have a long thank you list, but to a few of specific ones:

uncle&auntie, for taking good care of me when i was in portland.
kelly&peh, you guys are so nice and kind! thank you so much for taking me around in seattle and also introducing me the job!
bitchy housemate, thanks for keeping the drama between girls to minimal (LOL), thanks for keeping me accopmpany when i am lonely.
weejian, i hardly say nice things to you but you know i treasure you a lot. thanks for being there for me, and keep me comfort when i cry. i enjoy being '8' with you!
jacob, you are the best listener, you listen and you do not judge. me heart you big big time.
jamie, if only i could understand you better. but you never failed being a great friend to me.
randall, thanks for always encouraging meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! i owe you big one.
pam, keep blogging la you.
sean, you never failed to make me smile. why do you always appear when i am at my loneliest day? ngo oi nei, arrrrrrrrrr. lol
to the one that name shall not be mentioned, you know who you are and your one tight hug makes my day seems brighter. =)
wayne&andrew, i heart you too, especially weiyong. wahahahaa

of cos my zhuzhu also, you make me realize that my life wasn't that bad afterall. wahahaha. i love you la. =p

last but not least, to my donald duck. thanks for believing in daisy when she almost gave up on you. dee, i love you, i really do!

bye la year 2008. i don't want to think about 2008 anymore.

year 2009 treat me better will ya! hopefully this coming new year will bring me a good job, more family times, teach me to love better, a better photography skill, not be broke anymore (i am poor but i am rich in love, mind you), teach me to be patient and kind... there are so many things that i want to do in year 2009. i am so ready for it.

rock on year 2009!