;): April 2009

Hello people! It's been so long! I can't even keep up with the project 365. T_T

anyway, it;s going to be a long post.

it's 22:13 now. i am feeling lonely. very very lonely. edwin is not here. randall is not here. darren is not here. the mat-salleh floor mates are all not here. the fact is, everyone has gone to Ibiza, Spain for a 3-day holiday. without me, yes, without me. well, edwin did not leave me here alone on purpose. i chose not to go and i didnt want him to stay either. reason 1, the visa issue. reason 2, its time for us to have some space from each other and i need some quiet time too. ibiza is famous for sex and drugs. sweet. its not like he will do either one of them, i am just missing his presence in this room you know. i feel so much more colder in this room without having him here with me. weird as i usually feel very hot at night and sometimes i even sweat. whatever, he will be back tomorrow night and i will be working from morning to the evening, time will go by very very fast. i hope.

you know what is weird. from seeing each other zero day to sticking by each other 24/7. from celebrating none of the big days together to spending valentine's day, his birthday and our 2nd anniversary together. ok, lets start from feb 4th, the day i left seattle. i was feeling anxious then. very sad as i dont think i was ready to leave america. very excited as i get to see bf in another 12 hours. actually i was very worried and tensed on meeting edwin again. i was worried about the first meeting after so long. worried about his OCD-ness, talking about this, i even had to call noriko when i was at the airport to have her to bring me the lint roller, because i didnt want edwin to see there were like plenty of my hairs/dog's hairs/dust on my coat. =_=

so i arrived in london on feb5th. weird. the british slang and everything. saying cheers instead of thank you. then i flew to manchester. finally, after so long, after heard so much about manchester. i was very excited to see edwin and randall. the first hug was great. the scenes back then seemed kinda blur to me except the scene where the two poor guys with my heavy broken luggages. then i reached the place where he lives (it's a student accomodation). i have always seen his room through the webcam and finally got to see the real room. ehhe. it's kinda spacious (not anymore, cos it's filled with my stuffs!), he has his own bathroom, 6 rooms shared a kitchen and living room. very nice, just like a humble hotel you know. i am very glad to see all the letters from me are pinned on the board, our picture frame is on the table. (:

i still remember the moment when he picked up my hand and then held me close. i was shy then as we last held hand was like months and months ago. everything is great. we go grocery shopping. we cook and eat together. we go travelling together. he introduces his friends to me. he shows me the places where he usually hang out at. i attend classes with him (i kinda sneaked in. =p). all in all, we spend quality times together.

so yea, i am here in manchester for almost 2 months now. he makes me fall in love over and over again. everytime he smiles, my heart melts. i hate to say this but i can tell you that i am afraid or dont even want to be in a long distance relationship anymore. having your love ones by your side is just so great, when you are sad he is there for you to hold and you feel as if everything is going to be alright, no more virtual "*hugz*" which you can only receive from msn. its true that we often have quality conversations on msn but what is different now is we can look into each other eyes while having those conversations. i used to be so shy that i cant even look at my love one when he is singing (be it to me or just singing for fun), but now i just cant take my eyes off him when he is singing as he is so cute that i cant resist. hahahahahaahhahaha.

i think i have crapped enough. lemme upload some photos!

this was taken on my last day (supposingly la).

deli randall never failed to cheer me up. the person that i constantly talk to, be it when i was in america or now here in manchester. i never feel bored with him by my side eh. when edwin is not available for me, he is always there for me to disturb! he is that kinda friend that i want to keep like, erm, forever. (: