a broken american dream

not really.

i made the choice, didn't i?

sup

sup. i m at work again. another overnight shift. life is boring lately, nothing much happening else from drowning myself in work. if only there's 48 hours a day. i need massage. more times for myself. to do a little bit drawing or doodling. maybe a little bit cooking. to do laundry. to walk around downtown. to take more pictures. to do a little bit catch up with friends. more pak-thor-ing. practice japanese. more drama. to sing k. to play with my phone. more blogging. to clean up my room.

my room is so messy that i don't even want to live in there anymore.

welcome to obamanation

was working at girl's program today (teenager girls) and we have been sticking our butt on the couch and glueing our eyes on CNN for the latest election result. the girls were all so anxious omg. they were like having obama camp in the program. it was especially nervous for all of us when his electoral votes were sticking at the number of 207, it then suddenly jumped to 293 votes and he was announced to be the next president.. the girls were like jumping and shouting for joy and i definitely saw some tears at the corner of the eyes.

most of the american citizens they were so into politics ok, i mean at least the people around me. this colleague of mine was asking me about who do i support yesterday. i was like obama. she asked why so. i was like i don't know i just think that mccain is too old lol. then she was like "to me, family value is very important...." then she kept explaining to me she will vote on whoever that have stronger family value. then i was like i wonder who has a better view on love and relationship. at that moment i can feel that she must be thinking its useless talking to me... =p

anyway, my point is, america is ready for a change, and i wonder when it's malaysia's turn?

oh ya. obama delivered a very powerful speech too. =p

happy belated halloween?

or, maybe merry christmas?

i can't decide who sing the better "the christmas song", michael buble or christina aguilera or josh groban or jesssica simpson. hmm.

today we brought kids out for trick or treats. everyone looked so cute can. and i dressed up like a computer nerd. it was a successful one. first, randall saw me online he was like "you are super nerdy". then i went to school to get this girl outta school, when she saw me across from the classroom her expression was priceless. then for the entire day i kept hearing kids saying i am like a nerd. haha. my $9.90 was kinda worth it.

been so busy lately. i hardly had any me-time. my work place is like my first home. T_T my schedule not even the same as that tan airene anymore. she is leaving soon. T_T so soon. i am leaving with her. i want to. i want to i want to. go home. probably not. probably manchester. hmm. edwin is going to rome, venice, and milan. argh. i swear to myself no matter how he tempted me i shall not be influenced. next year dee i will be there. (;

oh i learned to knit lately. my first masterpiece is a scarf. a lovely scarf for someone special. pictures later, after he received it. heheheeeeeee. knitting is so addictive though. and it's not cheap at all. for the price that i paid for all the yarns, i can probably get a lot of ready made scarfs from the store. oh well, it's the thought that counts right. (:

what else what else... oh ya... my life in the states have been interesting. i am glad that i have the chance to deal with 911, the fire department, the emt, the hospital, the police officer... what else my job gonna offer me. the doctors in children hospital are so cute. the firemen that came today look hot. aw, i am sick. people make me sick. lol

you know ar, the thing that i hate to hear from my friend the most is..."eh do you want to join us for tonight gathering? me, lik, suat and ted." knowing that i can't be there for sure, don't tell me la........ T_T but honestly, i miss you guys a lot arrrrrr. jamie la, weiyong la, andrew la, weejian la, suat la, ted la, lik la, rishant la, juliana la, i miss the gang. i wonder things will still be the same 10 years down the road. but one thing i know for sure, thing will not be the same when one gets a gf or a bf. you know like jamie, hclf one. i am not that good either. aih.

i am actually getting paid for blogging. because technically i am working right now. it's 4:42am. i am so freaking tired. i am done with all my tasks. i am just waiting for the clock to strike 7am and i can leave. go back to my lovely bed before i have to work again on the same day at 4pm..until the next morning 7am. lol. it sounds tiring. but truthfully, i always feel so tired at the end of the shift, but when i got home and read all the messages that edwin left for me even it was just one line, i felt so energetic right after. and i end up staying up instead of going to bed. T_T

and honestly, i think i have sleeping problem. you know like disturbed sleep. lots of dreams and got woken up easily. a lot of friends around me rite they are actually consuming sleeping pills to go to sleep, some of them even take shots to go to bed. i hope i will not end up going to pharmacy to get sleeping pill. it's kinda stressful sometimes when you know you gotta work certain hours the next day but you just cant seem to go to bed no matter how tired you are. it's very very frustrating.

it's only 4:50am right now. 2 hours and 10 more minutes to go. probably i should do my monthly report, but i am lazy.

you know... my mom always tell me that she feels as if she has already lost a daughter, she says i dont miss home nor care for them. it's pretty sad when i know that. well you know don't say a person never miss you or care for you, you never know how much a person is actually missing you or even care for you, it probably just never been expressed you know.... i learned that from the past relationship. lol... but this is not something to laugh about... =(

mommy if you are reading this...i really miss home...sometimes how i wished that you will just ask me to go home...

it's 5am. 2 more hours. i can do it.

5:36am. i hate myself for not making time for myself just to go walk around and take pictures of autumn leaves.